it hurts more in the daytime
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
My vagina just clenched in fear
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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