: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
