I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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