This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
