..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
