I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
