I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
