He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I wish you could order shots online.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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