White coat. Heels.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
