It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
