Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
