May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He kissed a someone with a penis
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
