some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
