I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
