Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
That's how pantless uber rides happen
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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