Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
