Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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