I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Buhtt sex?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
