Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
