i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
