Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
