U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
