Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
