thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
