and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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