Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
