Just cropdusted the office
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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