No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
