Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
