dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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