We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
She just used a chaser for red wine.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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