you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
