I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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