umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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