She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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