so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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