I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
