I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
