I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
