What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Randomize
