I'm really into asian looking animals
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
