Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
