Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
