Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
