You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Randomize
