he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize