just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
