Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
