And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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