after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
