I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
