At least make sure they are 18
Why
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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